Aftermath

Aftermath is the word for a battlefield after it's been blown up a few times and is just starting to grow grass again. So it is actually not a bad word for my haircut.

So there I am with my hair looking like a lawnmower mullet, and not many options. The stylist said I could do either a reverse bob (short back, long sides) or some other kind of mullet (short sides, slightly longer back). As most of you intuited, I went with reverse bob. Luckily this woman was a reputable stylist at a reputable store. By the time I walked out the store I didn't have the haircut I wanted, but at least I had a recognizable haircut.

...It's not completely the end of the world, I reasoned. About six years ago I had a haircut much like this. And eventually it grew out. Eventually... eeeee....

At home I spent some time putting makeup on, to make up for the bad hair. Lipstick, eyeliner, coverup... there, that made it all a bit better. I stuck a bobby pin in my massacred bangs in order to make them stay out of my forehead. Meanwhile, that night I was having my mum over for dinner. I called her and told her I'd had a bad haircut. And didn't want to talk about it.

So, that night I open the door to my mum. The shriek was so loud you could hear it in the gym on the second floor. "Aaaagh! My God! What did you do to your hair! It's terrible!"

Gee, Mum. Come on in.

"Did you have a haircut? Why did you get it all cut off? How silly you are! What a silly girl!"

"You know I told you about this... I went for a trim--"

"A trim! That isn't a trim! It's horrible! It's so. Short!"

"Yes, I--"

"Did you *wash* your hair? Because it looks like... here, let me..."

Here she tries to touch my hair; I shrink away. "Don't!"

"It looks like your hair doesn't go with this cut... you have wavy hair; this cut isn't suited to you... your hair grows the wrong way for this cut... here, let me, I know how to cut hair...I'm very good at cutting hair..."

This went on for 20 minutes at which point I freaked out and said that on no account could we talk about my hair ANY longer.

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Meanwhile, back at school. Three people have now seen my haircut and they've all been really approving. Maybe it's just that people closer to my age are better socially adjusted. Maybe they're just more tactful. Maybe they're nicer? Maybe they've got more than one hairstyle in their sights. Anyway, they've been great. And without prodding. One person said she was convinced I looked like THIS picture of Posh Spice (minus boob job, orange tan, bleach-blonde, slutty dress...):


And someone else said her friend had just paid BIG bucks for a reverse bob exactly like mine. And that mine was really hot, and in.

So. These are the days I am glad my mum does not run a fashion consulting agency. Can you imagine?